Freitag, 12. Oktober 2018

When haters leave mean, cruel and disgusting comments (opinion)

How would you feel if strangers commenting on you and your work tell you in front of the world and using the most abusive and mean words how ugly you were, how much they hate you, and that you should go and kill yourself? That is what social media influencers and others whose work is visible in public have to deal with daily. But who are the haters? And how to handle them?

Tati Westbrook, a makeup-artist, beauty-influencer and actress, born in Seattle/Washington, now living in Los Angeles, this week tweeted about incredibly mean and cruel things haters had said to her in comments, like that she was old and ugly and how she deserves the health issues she has etc. These comments were really hurtful to her. The haters that had left them in the comment section of her YouTube channel are probably fans of a makeup brand and now at war with her because they did not like her review on the makeup products (!!!). Can you believe it?!

Tati Westbrook in the meantime made a video about the situation and what the direct consequences will be on her YouTube channel: I am done being quiet!

Social media influencers, creaters, artists, entertainers, bloggers/journalists etc. want feedback on their work, this is why they invite people to communicate with them in social media, e.g. to leave comments on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook etc.

Positive feedback and supportive words of cause make everyone feel good, fair comments (positive and negative) help to improve what people do and how they do it. But hateful uninformative comments that are supposed to hurt do not help anybody - and the same goes in my opinion for lies, unproven accusations used to make a person look evil.

Oh wrong, actually hate comments and insinuation tell a lot about the person who spreads them: the person is obviously very unhappy, lacks clearheadedness and the ability to normal communication, and sometimes is just a child, teenager or other immature person seeking attention, lacking a decent role model and can easily be manipulated by others (and maybe is used by competitors or enviers).


How influencers address the situation with the haters and alike (examples)

Some influencers, creaters, artists etc. have a huge supportive following but since a pin in the matress hurts no matter how beautiful the bed is, day by day hate hurts people and wears out the creativity. Some of the influencers and others receiving hateful comments do not read their comments anymore to be mentally able to continue their creative work. Others try to read selectively and ignore the haters' comments, and some disable comments or hire staff to read the comments for them, summarize things up, write a report and forward only chosen comments to them.

Influencers, YouTube creators, artists, journalists etc. cannot spend their time trying to convince each hater to behave better but some of them address the topic in their YouTube videos.

Liza Koshy, a YouTube creator, entertainer, actress and TV host from Houston/Texas (USA) now living in Los Angeles, makes fun of the haters in her video.
Reading Mean Comments (Youtube, Liza Koshy)

Jeffree Star, influencer, singer-songwriter, makeup creator and businessman from California (USA) and still living in the Los Angeles area, also makes fun of them using ASMR.
Reading Brutal Hate Comments in ASMR (YouTube, Jeffree Star)
ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (here is a blogpost about ASMR in German)

Furthermore, many influencers, bloggers, journalists etc. get racist hate comments.

Lilly Singh, a YouTube creator with her own production company, actress, author, model and Unicef embassador, is the daughter of immigrants from India. She is Canadian and grew up in the Toronto area, now she lives in Los Angeles/California (USA). In the following video Lilly gives the haters a roasting lesson.

A Geography Class for Racist People (YouTube, IISuperwomanII)

What do you think:
Should YouTubers and others delete hate comments and block the haters on their channels?
Should fans come to the rescue - but how to do that without fueling the hate and its spreading even more?

There is more to read
There is more to view too

Montag, 1. Oktober 2018

Jeffree Star a racist? The short answer: no! (opinion)

Time and again, Jeffree Star - a Social Media influencer, singer-songwriter, beauty-guru, makeup creator, business man and owner of several companies - is accused by someone of something. This time his former hairstylist and ex-friend "exposes" him in some wonky instagram stories as allegedly being a racist. Whaaaaat?
Two weeks later it is Thomas Halbert, a young, not-so-famous beauty-YouTuber, putting out a video accusing Jeffree Star - no receipts either. At first he seemed to be just another one fishing for attention and views. After Jeffree uncovered his truth on Twitter and Snapchat, a girl from the UK claims she was allegedly contacted during Jeffree Star's Can't Relate tour last week by someone wanting a statement on Jeffree "to bring him down". Is there a group of conspirators trying to harm Jeffree Star? The recent updates are at the end of this blogpost.

The following was originally supposed to be a twitter comment to someone's tweet who had gotten all worked up over the hairdresser's allegations. Since my answer became way too long I decided to write an article about it (and it got even longer) and post it here in one of my blogs:

I wonder why some people CHOOSE TO BELIEVE Jeffree's former hairstylist and not Jeffree Star. Do they find the hairstylist's presentation on instagram in any way convincing, his words sober, his receipts of the direct messages (dms) authentic? I sure do not! Man, don't smoke whatever while making serious accusations in public! How can anyone believe him when he is asking for subscribers before he would make a video about how evil Jeffree Star is. How can anybody fall for that?

I wonder what makes a hairstylist acting so unprofessionally. And what makes some people obviously WANT TO BELIEVE Jeffree Star is a bad person? And why do people feel they have to spread the word and fuel this fire again and again - after his apologies and all? You could assume there are people behind it having their own agenda and there are always people out there who love to be up in arms against someone and spread the rumors. This feels so wrong.

But of course you can ask me the same. Why do I CHOOSE to believe Jeffree Star?

You just listen for yourself what he has got to say: Racism (YouTube Channel Jeffree Star)

I do believe his words and actually my feeling. Both say he is no racist - not now and probably never was even though he used horrible racial swearwords at some occasions when he was younger.

Since I mention him in a few of my blogposts about YouTube and the beauty industry and because I wanted to make sure he is not a bad person - I had heard of the controversies -, I had to research for myself, went through like hundreds of pictures from teenage on, articles about and videos of his music career, of course watched his apology video addressing former accusations (see 'Racism' above), Shane's five part series about him, all the drama channels, Jeffree's last secrets video, all the instagram posts, stories, all I could find, and of course I watched this THE TRUTH ... VIDEO and similar others where HE SPEAKS OUT FOR INCLUSIVE MAKEUP LINES for all skin tones and RECOMMENDS JACKIE AINA*S VIDEO. That is what matters to me: what I see, what I hear, what is proven! I would not even know much about inclusive makeup or about Jackie Aina had Jeffree Star not brought it up and recommended one of her videos.

I can nowhere see Jeffree Star discriminating people depending on their skin tone, gender or whatever and I do not see/hear him using racial language to anyone.


When I see Jeffree Star I see someone who had problems with controlling his anger when actually being or sometimes maybe just feeling attacked or not respected because of his appearance, sexuality, family history and other private things and then used hurtful words to fight back. He has apologized for what he said in the past and made clear what kind of person he is now and wants to be. Does that mean he is an angel now? Probably not but on a good way. What else can you do as a public figure other than regret and apologize and then move on and try to become a better person.

When I see Jeffree Star, e. g. on pictures taken by his fans, in footage by TV channels, by himself or his team I see someone incredibly patient and friendly when it comes to his fans - no matter what gender, skin tone, age etc. He is creative, intelligent and eager to learn, obsessed with makeup, very professional and a strategic thinker when it comes to marketing his brand or creating makeup products. There is no room for some stupid idea like racism in his life in my opinion. BTW: His makeup videos are very helpful and fun to watch. And I have never seen anybody looking so incredible in a Balmain dress!

But nevertheless, since I try to be professional myself and since I do not know Jeffree Star personally I have to consider "WHAT IF I AM BLINDED" - from the latest Shane Dawson series, part 2, which is about sociopaths on YouTube we have learned not to trust nice and charismatic people (just kidding, sociopaths are not hurt by what other people say).

So I had to ask myself the question: What if Jeffree Star really wrote those damned dms?

You need to know, I would never want to support a hater, a racist or any person that hurts other people intentionally. And thus I would not write friendly about such a person in one of my blogs. So it is very important to me to have an opinion about who Jeffree Star is now.

So here are my thoughts and conclusions:
Actually, even if those dms (allegedly from 2017) are not fake it would still not prove anything about Jeffree Star being a racist to me (though I would not approve of the choice of words that were allegedly used)!

BECAUSE what a person says in private with someone he considers his/her friend - and obviously they had known each other for years - is not an opinion, is not meant to be public and is not meant to hurt the feelings of a third person or anyone - it just expresses the grudge, anger or whatever feeling at that moment. In this case it would mean too he should not have trusted this hairstylist and friend - and that is very sad.

Who has never complained about someone as a stupid cow or worse in private with a friend. Swearwords people use mostly depend on where they grew up - but very often beautiful animals are used.


Did you just think: What is this elder whitebread/whitetrash woman from nowhere trying to tell me? I do not mind - your thoughts and also what you say in private to a friend in some kind of mood for me is not relevant, it is not who you are and is not meant to hurt me - I allege. If you wanted to hurt me you would tell me that to my face. Right?

Maybe we should never think in bad terms - but that is not how our brain works, at least not mine. Most of the time all kind of things pop up in there and I try to choose what I want to listen to and decide what my true opinion is about something or someone. What else can you do. The results of that thinking process is what you talk about publicly and what you try to live by. No one can control every term in his inner talking or wants to control himself/herself when being with or messaging to a friend - sometimes you just relax and express a mood, a friend knows you better than to judge you for a bad choice of words. And you bank on your friend's loyality and trustworthiness. If a friend would think you are going too far or in a wrong direction with your swearing language he/she would tell you that right away and ask you to stop it. And if he was really bothered and you still would not stop he/she would end the conversation and the friendship!

Jeffree Star Ex Hair Stylist Drama (YouTube: Drama-Channel Rich Lux)

What made the hairdresser go wild?
Some "friends" are not friends anymore when something does not go their way. E. g., a person could feel hurt because he/she was not booked by the friend's other friend anymore and the famous friend did not force this other person in his team to do so. Some people feeling hurt seek revenge.
Some "friends" see a possibility how they can use the famous name of a friend and some shading to their advantage. Maybe others also out for revenge and for attention in Social Media encourage them to do so. And sometimes all of this comes together - and there goes the loyality, confidentiality ... It's sad but it happens. I do not know if that is what happened here, I just try to find an explanation why someone ruins a friendship, the possibility of a collaboration in the future, and at the same time accepts that a third person now feels hurt because of something someone allegedly said.

It does not really matter if the dms are fake or not (no credible receipt yet). Jeffree Star is not a racist because he did not try to hurt anybody even if he should have used those words in a private one to one messaging situation with a friend because he had a grudge or whatever. The hairdresser is just awful - how can someone try to "expose" a friend and former client like that. I kind of feel sorry for all of them, for the hairstylist because he is such a fool, Jeffree for losing a friend and for being confronted with all the old accusations again, and for the third person for taking those allegedly used words for real and personally and by her going public with accusations against Jeffree Star she, in my view, kind of damaged herself.

The hairstylist closed the door to a friendship and partnership forever by his unprofessional hurtful behavior and will have a hard time to ever find clients again, I guess. He should know that for most people a hairdresser is not just a crafts-person or an artisan but someone they want to trust.

My conclusion of all this is: It's your public words and deeds defining who you are and what your impact on this world is. And I do not see that Jeffree Star is talking or acting in any way like a racist.

I see Jeffree Star helping people to be their authentic self by being successful while being his vision of his own true self. I see him being the friendliest person ever to everybody - he is nice to the makeup artists in the Sephora store when he buys makeup for a review on camera, to waitresses at Taco Bell when he picks up lunch, to salespersonal at the Gucci or Fendi stores at the mall, to fellow YouTube stars and friends - to everybody. I see him supporting other people all the time on Social Media - no matter what skin color, gender or whatever, I see him giving a lot of money to charity and doing many other positive things other people (also) benefit from.

To me Jeffree Star seems to be a good and beautiful person - may be he is not perfect but who is? I am so glad he is here on this planet with us.

That is my opinion!


PS: This is what Jeffree Star tweeted on the insinuations of Thomas Halbert
Jeffree Star clarified what actually had happened in more detail and with receipts in a Twitter rant on 14th October 2018, and also said that the reason why Thomas Halbert accused him was that he could not handle rejections well (Jeffree did not want to make videos with him and he also did not want him as a client of his co-owned company Killer Merch). Rich Lux collected everything and also some audio he got from Jeffree and published it in "Jeffree Star finally breaks silence...". (YouTube, Rich Lux, parodistic drama channel). Gabriel Zamora, another beauty-YouTuber knowing the behind the scenes, later confirms Jeffree's position in a statement on snapchat (it is here in full length in another Rich Lux video) saying that Thomas Halbert had been trying to play off one side against the other for some time.

While I am updating this blogpost, even more is brought to light on Twitter: A girl claims she was contacted by an American person during Jeffree Star's Can't Relate tour last week in Ireland and the UK to help "bring Jeffree Star down" by accusing him to use racist language. She further tweeted that this "RacialSlurGate" was meant to come out during late October to mid November to coincide with Jeffree Star's holiday collection launch to destroy his business and reputation. The girl has not shown any evidence yet - at least not publicly -, and her account is suddenly not visible anymore... Wow, I am speechless and waiting what else is going to be unveiled. I wonder if there really are instigators behind the false accusations. I guess there are many out there who begrudge Jeffree Star his success and his brand is becoming more and more of a competition to other brands out there. But it could also be just a personal thing by one of the people involved in these or former dramas, it could be a different person or a whole group... Or the girl just wanted attention too. To be continued - may be.

What everybody should learn from this:
Do not believe people when they obviously try to harm another person unless they have credible receipts. Even if YOU can't think of a motive why this person could be lying, because you used to like the accusing party, there can be motives such as wanting attention and clout (views, subscribers), acting out of envy or malice, seeking revenge, trying to ruin or at least damage the competitor, impress someone, act on behalf of another person etc. Or maybe the person is just (young and) stupid. The challenge is to find out who speaks the truth and who wants to use you to spread false accusations. So, do not spread rumors, when you have no verified and credible receipts with the context around the situation.
And please, do not attack anyone on Social Media. Do not hate people who disappointed you - on Social Media you can't know what mental state a person is in. If you are angry at an influencer just leave the channel, maybe unsubscribe, and go to a more pleasant place on the Internet - there are thousands of creative and fun people out there just waiting for you to find them.

This blogpost is just my opinion based on what I watched happening or found on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram etc. I tried to figure out what's real but I cannot guarantee that everything I found is true and that my conclusions are correct.

Please feel free to comment down below - in a respectful and family-friendly way, of course, otherwise I can't release it.

There is more: